Who's for a game of January bingo

Happy new year. Or is it too late to say that?

When do you actually stop saying it? And what are the rules for this week anyway?

The first couple of weeks in January are full of all the stuff we’ve come to expect at this time of year.

People are moaning about payday being a lifetime away (which it is, by the way).

The living room looks empty now the Christmas decorations are gone.

Nobody can be bothered going back to work and, of course, the kids don’t want to go back to school.

The writer Lynne Hoggan next to a quote: "It doesn’t matter if you have plans for the year or not, if you are doing Dry January or not, if you have eaten too much and can’t be bothered going to the gym to kick start the new year diet."

(Okay, to be fair, that last one isn’t just a first couple of weeks of January thing.)

But personally, I like getting back to work.

The routine keeps me sane.

Otherwise I’m waking up every day not knowing what to do with myself, eating cheese for breakfast and wondering if there’s any point in getting dressed.

I actually forgot that this is the day I write this column, so I am currently sat here in the pub typing away.

Which means Dry January isn’t getting off to the best start either.

January 2023 calendar page, with the words 'Stop drinking' written across it. — So much for Dry January. Image: Shutterstock.

So let’s play a game of January bingo and maybe it will help to get us through the next couple of weeks.

Listen put for January bingo lingo

When you hear the following phrases, or catch people doing the following things, think of me then mark them off on the little imaginary bingo card in your head.

It might even make this month a little more bearable.

• “How was your Christmas and new year?”

• “Oh I need to get back into the healthy eating.”

woman on scales, which spell out the word 'HELP', surrounded by junk food. — Too much chocolate? It must be January. Image: Shutterstock.

• “I’ve eaten so much chocolate.”

• The person who says “Happy new year”, then hugs you awkwardly because it’s probably a little too late now for these shenanigans.

• The person who plays down their festive season, telling you “It was fairly quiet”, before going into every little detail of every little event that happened. SO IT WASN’T ACTUALLY THAT QUIET THE SUSAN, WAS IT??

• That one person in the office who gets the photo album open on their phone so you have to endure every happy family pic that’s in there.

person showing other people photos on a mobile phone. — “And that’s Colin’s mum with Sandra’s sister”. Image: Shutterstock.

• The colleague who moans daily and hates January and hates work and hates the gym and hates the fact that the festivities are over.

• The equally annoying positive one who has a planner and is already writing down New Year’s resolutions and trying to get everyone to sign up for a yoga class.

It’s just like any other month really

Good luck playing January bingo.

And whatever you do, be kind to yourself.

Anyone else’s hoose still lying like an absolute tip?? 😅

— Lynne (@Lynneontheradio) January 2, 2023

Because it doesn’t matter if you have plans for the year or not, if you are doing Dry January or not, if you have eaten too much and can’t be bothered going to the gym to kick start the new year diet…

Who cares?

Treat this month like any other month and get on with it.

You can do it.

Now what day did you say it was?