As I sat down to write this column in my fuchsia, heart-covered minidress, eyes powdered a painful-looking magenta, sipping from my flower-printed water bottle, scribbling with my favourite hot pink biro, I realised something. I am, in the immortal words of Aqua, a Barbie girl.
And in 2023, the world is once again a Barbie world.
Or at least, my world is.
The new live-action Barbie movie, directed by Greta Gerwig (Little Women, Frances Ha) and starring the perfectly cast blonde bombshell Margot Robbie, is due to hit cinemas this summer.
And I can honestly say I don’t remember the last time I was this excited about a trip to the pictures.
The trailer had me the moment it showed Barbie stepping out of her pink plastic slipper – and her foot stayed on Mattell trademark tiptoe.
Nostalgia, dressed up in fabulous frills, laced with tongue-in-cheek allusions to the once-secret world of sex? I’m sold.
Not that it was a hard sale.
Barbie merits big screen treatment
The film industry has (rightly) had a lot of flack in recent years over the rising trend of studios churning out live action remakes of animated films.
Just this week, Disney came under fire for announcing a live action remake of Moana; a film which originally came out less than a decade ago, in 2016.
Meanwhile Marvel Studios has been criticised for its seemingly never ending conveyor belt of comic-book adaptations; think Avengers, Captain America, Dr Strange, and so on.
okay this is where someone must intervene… moana not even 10 years old https://t.co/tYK9nOBXuy
— ✰ (@photonsmight) April 3, 2023
The demand for original stories, and original characters, has been made clear; and it’s a call I echo wholeheartedly.
But for Barbie? I will make an exception.
Because the beauty of Barbie is that she’s never been just one character, with one story.
Barbie could be anything, so I could too
When I was wee, she was loads of things! Horseriding Barbie, Mermaid Barbie, Rapunzel Barbie, Ballerina Barbie, Roller-rink Barbie…
And from the trailer, the new film has captured that spirit – with every woman in Barbieland called Barbie, and every man called Ken.
(Sidenote: Ryan Gosling with bleach-blonde hair might be the most uncanny-valley aspect of this doll universe.)
Bottom line, Barbie could be anything; and anyone could be Barbie.
So where some kids had Baby Annabell, and some had Beyblades, I had eyes only for her.
To be a Barbie kid was to see the world through rose-tinted, heart-shaped sunglasses.
Unlike baby dolls, Barbie was old enough to do whatever she liked.
She could go everywhere that us kids couldn’t – and in a snazzy convertible, no less. (Although, thanks to a project I did on Roman history around Primary 4, mine went everywhere in a chariot.)
Moreover, once you had acquired enough of her, over various Christmases and charity shop rummages, you had an unstoppable girl-squad of different talents, outfits and – in my childhood mind – personalities.
I have no doubt that if it hadn’t been for Barbie, and the various adventures I made up for her, I wouldn’t be a writer today.
She was an essential part of my learning how to imagine.
Childhood dreams are made of this
Now, in Gerwig’s candy-striped ‘live-action’ film, the world’s favourite doll (and her boyfriend, Ken) are brought to life.
Barbie is venturing out of sugar-coated Barbieland, and making her way into the Real World.
Just in time to join my cohort of girls who grew up with her.
By the time I reached late primary school, we’d all cast off our Barbies as babyish.
She represented a squeaky-clean, hyper-girly femininity that was extremely uncool at the time.
So it’s refreshing to see we’ve all grown up enough to indulge our inner kids with this outrageous, truly fantastic-looking flick.
You can keep your flying guys in capes and your weird CGI animals.
The Barbie movie is what childhood dreams are made of.
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