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Perthshire Pride: Mum tells of her new life after coming out aged 36

Carer Marysia Macfarlane came out after the end of her second marriage, which lasted 14 years.

Marysia Macfarlane has been named as the co-chair of Perthshire Pride. Image: Marysia Macfarlane.
Marysia Macfarlane has been named as the co-chair of Perthshire Pride. Image: Marysia Macfarlane.

A mum who came out in her late 30s is one of the new chairs of Perthshire Pride.

Marysia Macfarlane and Jack Simpson have jointly taken on the role at an organisation that promotes the LGBT+ community and organises Perthshire Pride every summer.

For the first 36 years of her life, Marysia presented herself as straight.

She got married twice and had two children.

But the 53-year-old finally came out after the end of her second marriage, which lasted 14 years.

“I couldn’t live a lie anymore,” she told us.

In this article Marysia tells of her experiences before and after coming out, and what she hopes she can achieve at Perthshire Pride.

Carer who likes to take photos

Marysia has lived in Perth her entire life.

She spent her earliest years in Letham and then North Muirton, before moving to Gannochy and then returning to Letham.

For the past 25 years she has been a carer, serving at Murray Royal Hospital, care homes and also in the community, while the amateur photographer also set up popular Facebook group Pictures of Perth and Beyond seven years ago.

Marysia is a keen photographer. Image: Marysia Macfarlane.

Growing up in the 1980s, Marysia felt she was unable to be her true self so did not tell anybody she was gay.

“It was horrible back then,” she recalled.

“You weren’t accepted back then. There was a lot of hate.”

‘It was horrible being gay in the 1980s,’ says Marysia. Image: Marysia Macfarlane.

As a young person she admits she was shy so her strategy was to keep quiet and conform.

Her first marriage lasted 15 months and she spent 14 years with her second husband.

“I have always known but you try to bury these things,” said Marysia, the proud mother of Gary and Erin, both grown up.

Family unsurprised by revelation

Marysia came out a few months after the end of her second marriage.

“My dad sort of knew already and one of my sisters and brothers guessed,” she said.

“I have always been a bit of a tomboy.

“They didn’t seem surprised and accepted it.”

Marysia has opened up on coming out to her family. Image: Marysia Macfarlane.

She added: “On the whole I have been accepted.

“There’s a lot more people coming out nowadays because people are a lot more accepting.

“I am quite pleased that I have lived the life I have because it has taught me a lot.

“I will stand up and speak my mind. If I think something’s wrong I will say.

“I am much more confident than I used to be. I used to be a quiet wee thing.”

Pride has ‘come on leaps and bounds’

Perthshire Pride has given those in the LGBTQ+ community an opportunity to get to know likeminded people.

In Marysia’s case, her presence at the inaugural event in 2019, where she was deployed to take photos of Sir Ian McKellen, introduced her to the gay-friendly Perth Parrots Floorball Club.

Floorball is similar to indoor hockey but with plastic sticks and a plastic ball.

Marysia is involved in a number of LGBTQ+ groups. Image: Marysia Macfarlane.

She is also involved in the Facebook art group Rainbow Creatives LGBTQ+ and volunteers for Rainbow Heartlands.

“As a gay woman it’s great that Perth has pride,” she said.

“It has come on leaps and bounds in how it reaches the public now.”

Defending trans rights

Maintaining this momentum is one of Marysia’s aims as a co-chair alongside Jack Simpson.

She also intends to stand up for the rights of all sections of the LGBT+ community.

Locals enjoying Perthshire Pride in 2019.

“I didn’t know trans existed 30 years ago,” admitted Marysia, who attended a vigil for trans teenager Brianna Ghey, stabbed to death in Warrington in February.

“I am now more aware and I want people to be more aware that we are all the same underneath.

“I recognise what they’re going through.

“I want to reach more people and see Perthshire Pride grow and achieve more heights in terms of size, audience and inclusivity.

“I want people to feel that they are accept and celebrate who they are.

“With two of us it is not left to one person.

“Jack is really good with getting the acts for the pride event and planning things.

“I don’t think for one minute it is going to be an easy task to organise the pride event but I do love a challenge.”

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