“You know what you should do,” a friend said, “You should post more on social media.
It wasn’t the first time I’ve heard this.
Increasingly, it’s all about your following – the more followers, the more jobs you get.
That’s not confined to TV though, it’s a huge part of being a presenter. I groaned.
When I get home after filming I’m a mum of three boys, I’ve finished ‘work’ and I want to chill.
If I can’t find a hair band, I’ve been known to use a pair of (clean) pants to tie my hair up and make dinner. Who wants to see that? I like that switch off and privacy.
I see other presenters look impossibly glamorous for a day at a wildlife park with the kids or talking through their inner most thoughts on peri menopause after school drop off.
I half admire them and half wonder if they are missing out on actual life by recording it instead.
But I agreed with my friend and posted a few pictures from a recent holiday – including one of the kids and my husband.
Two days later, my phone started pinging – so did Jamie’s.
Friends put the laughing emoji next to a link to a national newspaper headline that read ‘Inside Homes Under The Hammer’s Martel Maxwell’s stunning Austrian skiing trip with rarely seen husband.’
It baffled me that this was news.
Trolling is part of news
To give some perspective on how I see myself, when a poll named me as an influential Dundonian – along with Brian Cox and Fast Eddie who plays the harmonica outside Boots in the city centre – my initial thought as I looked at a dinner table in the wake of post pudding devastation of three kids, was that I wasn’t even the most influential person in my own house.
At this new news article about this mystery man, Jamie looked very confused.
I read it and felt relief and possibly happiness – it was a nice article.
Then I noticed there were a few comments underneath.
The first said it was a lovely photo.
Then, a few down, Toorkwaz from Glasgow said: ‘Wow, she hasn’t half piled on the timber.’
I froze.
Had I?
How embarrassing. I asked Jamie if I looked fat in the picture.
‘It’s just the way they’ve cropped the picture,’ he said. Men don’t always get it right.
Imagine you posted a family picture on Facebook and someone commented ‘get you Fattie Japati. I’ve seen less blubber on a seal.’
How would that feel? But then imagine the person who posted is anonymous and that the comments can be read by anyone at all.
The thing is, I’d just been trying on dresses for a dinner dance and thought I looked a lumpy. It didn’t help my insecurity.
Don’t worry, I wasn’t too upset. Possibly years as a showbiz journalist writing about other people has made me aware trolling is just part of news.
One of my best friends called.
“I read the comment. You look amazing. These people are weird. You OK?”
“Thanks. Appreciate it. I’m fine.”
“Good. Got to pick up the kids. Bye.”
Insults don’t deserve a reply
Another friend’s reaction was different. When I told them the comment, they howled with laughter to the point a tear rolled down their cheek.
This made me laugh too. The absurdity was funny.
I’m lucky. Working on such a well loved show, almost all posts are warm, complimentary and encouraging.
There’s the occasional request for used socks or shoes but that’s OK, odd, but I see the funny side.
I’d put it out of mind until a week or two ago when I spotted a comment on X, formerly Twitter.
“Watching @martelmaxwell on Homes Under The Hammer. Whoever her fashion advisor is needs sacked!! She looks hellish in those ‘Tent’ dresses, is she also devoid of any dress sense too?? Every dress is the exact same style, just different colours.”
Given she’d tagged me, the poster – a woman called Pamela with 14 followers and a feed that, in fairness, didn’t concentrate hatred on any one sex or political party – the dislike was constant democratically distributed.
I thought about replying – to say that she was probably watching a repeat from when I was pregnant or a couple of months after giving birth when – after three kids – I didn’t fit into my old jeans and needed the security and confidence that came with a loose fitting dress while filming a show watched by millions.
Add in an early menopause and yes, I probably had changed shape.
But she didn’t deserve the logic. It’s all ridiculous.
And I’d rather be dressed as a portable shelter made of cloth than someone who needs to insult a stranger to feel good.
In fact, I thank her. I’ve been trolled – I might put it on a t-shirt.
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