Murray Davidson was able to find a way to train and play for St Johnstone.
But it came at the price of barely being able to climb the stairs at night.
There is pain at the realisation he will no longer pull on the blue and white of the club where he became a legend.
It will be more manageable than the pain that made retirement the logical decision for a footballer who squeezed every last drop out of himself for 14 glorious years at McDiarmid Park, however.
“I made up my mind four months ago,” said Davidson. “I did quite well to keep it a secret.
“I didn’t want to take the attention because the team was in a relegation battle.
“When we secured our safety, it started to come out.
“I’d been able to train for three or four weeks, every day, and knew then I couldn’t do this anymore. It was as black and white as that.
“The players were all saying I was training well but I told them: ‘Yeah but you can’t see me in the house at night when I am struggling to walk down the stairs’.
“That’s old age and putting my body on the line for years.
“I was having to take things to get through training and I decided that was enough.
“I couldn’t keep struggling to get out of bed – it was as simple as that.
“I had to walk down the stairs sideways – my ankle, knee and hip.
“I tried to cover it up in front of my girlfriend.
“Sometimes I was hopping to get to the kitchen or up the stairs because I couldn’t put weight down.
“I’m proud that I’ve had the courage to make this decision.
“I was going to do myself more damage and there was a chance I could also be a negative on the team because I couldn’t get to the levels required of a first team player at St Johnstone.
“I know in my heart it’s the right thing.”
One last order
Davidson and Steven MacLean have never had to work out a player-manager relationship, having been team-mates and good friends for so long.
But the 35-year-old did have to follow one order.
Davidson explained: “Macca phoned me on Tuesday and said: ‘What are you doing on Sunday?’
“He asked me if I wanted to be on the bench. ‘Not really’ was my answer because I didn’t feel fit enough.
“In slightly more colourful language he told me I was on the bench and I just said: ‘OK’.
“The club is in safe hands. I’ve travelled up and down from Peebles with him and I know how hard he will work.
“I’ll be cheering on St Johnstone all I can and I want him to be successful because he is a massive part of the football club.”
Sunday was an emotion-packed day for Davidson – from letting it sink in that this would be his last day as a professional footballer to the appreciation that flooded down from the four stands at McDiarmid Park, and everything in between.
“A couple of times during the day I had to go and take a minute because I had a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes,” he admitted.
“I’m very proud to have played my 14 years with Johnstone in the top league.
“Five or six clubs have offered me different roles but without being disrespectful, I said that to them all, that I have no interest in dropping down the leagues.
“I wanted to go out at the top.
“I don’t want people to be looking at Murray Davidson on a Saturday saying ‘he’s finished’.”
‘So many friends’
Davidson, who hasn’t made up his mind on whether he’ll stay in football, added: “I can’t thank the people of Perth enough. In 14 years I’ve not had one bit of bother.
“I’ve had chances to move but I wanted to give something back.
“I enjoy staying in Perth and what they did for me on Sunday means so much.
Loved putting this together. Murray Davidson – one of a kind 👏👏 https://t.co/1gs79d4mID
— Eric Nicolson (@C_ENicolson) May 26, 2023
“Look, the cup wins and European runs will stay with me forever.
“But last year, staying in the league meant so much.
“I’ve made so many friends – in the ticket office, cleaners and chefs. If we got relegated then certain ones might have been losing their job.
“It sounds silly that beating Inverness to stay in the league meant so much to me.
“I’ve loved every single minute of the last 14 years.
“I’ll look forward to coming back and supporting the team and seeing the fans one more time at my testimonial.”
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