After hitting rock bottom and contemplating quitting football a few years ago, St Johnstone loan goalkeeper Remi Matthews is back in love with the game.
Life as a number three with Crystal Palace started the healing process for the 28-year-old after he had to absorb some bruising experiences in the English lower leagues.
And now, the power of regular of regular first team football and being part of a vibrant and welcoming McDiarmid Park dressing room, has led him to a place where he can say with authority: “This is the best I’ve felt and the best I’ve been playing for a long, long time.”
Matthews, who has been one of Callum Davidson’s most consistent and reliable performers in the opening months of the season, said: “When I was at Bolton we went into administration, got relegated to League One and I was supposed to go to Palace but the administrators were asking for silly money for me.
“That was a kick in the teeth.
“We started the next season on minus 12 points in League One with seven senior players.
“The under-21s weren’t ready.
“We ended up losing 5-0 in our first five games so it went from having such a positive start to my career to all of a sudden, getting knocked backwards and negativity.
Big save from @Remi_matthews at the end! What a win #bwfc pic.twitter.com/PHNo8VpFTo
— Lion of Vienna Suite (@LionOfViennaSte) February 12, 2019
“At the time, I felt I was fine. Everyone wants to put on a brave face.
“But the back end of that last season, it started to hit me all at once. We went into lockdown and, for everyone, that was a struggle.
“That then spiralled into the Sunderland thing.
“I didn’t start off very well. It wasn’t enjoyable at all. I didn’t want to be part of it.
“I was supposed to go in as number one but I didn’t get off to a great start – and I hold my hands up and say I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t good enough. That was the bottom line.
“It was toxic at the time because, understandably, the fans wanted to be in the Championship, in the Premier League, and doing better than we were.
“I remember texting my old man saying: ‘I don’t want to play football any more, I’m done with football’. I was literally ready to walk away.
“That’s when I was lucky to speak to a psychologist. It’s in the past and This is the best I’ve felt and the best I’ve been playing for a long, long time.
“That’s credit to Palace, this club, the gaffer and goalkeeping coach.
“I want to play and enjoy football. Some people get caught up in just wanting to be at a club and living that sort of life, that status.
“I train hard and play hard. I do everything I can. But I remember that it’s a job I’m fortunate enough to do every day.”
Put it in the past and move on
Matthews added: “My dad has always been my role model figure. He’s always pushed me and driven me.
“He was saying ‘don’t let this negative affect your future’. I think he knew what a good goalkeeper I am.
“He said the decision was mine but advised me to think about it properly.
“It’s horrible talking about it. I try and put it in the past and move on. And here I am now.”
📽 𝙃𝙞𝙗𝙨 𝙃𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙨
All the action from our Friday night win over @HibernianFC
Next up is Kilmarnock on Saturday 👊#SJFC | @SPFL | 📷 Chris Logan pic.twitter.com/qN2ZYyLgVK
— St. Johnstone FC (@StJohnstone) October 24, 2022
The here and now for Matthews is coming off a stunning comeback victory for Saints against Hibs and attempting to settle a second score when another team that beat them in the first set of fixtures, Kilmarnock, come to McDiarmid.
“Kilmarnock deserved to win the other week and it doesn’t feel nice saying that,” he reflected.
“The astro does make a difference. I don’t care what anyone says.
“We’re going to be on our turf now playing Kilmarnock again and we’ve got to do everything we can to get the three points. No excuses.”
No more worldies
With Daniel Armstrong’s prowess from a dead ball in the front of Matthews’ mind, he would certainly appreciate his team-mates not conceding a free-kick in shooting distance as James Brown did earlier this month at Rugby Park.
“I seem to be conceding the worldies for some reason,” he said. “Or I just can’t move my feet and I’m not quick enough, I don’t know!
“After the Aberdeen one went in, I must have watched it 20 times figuring out if I could’ve done better.
“Then this one went in at Kilmarnock and I’m thinking through the game: ‘I hope this has gone top corner because if it hasn’t I’m going to get some stick’.
“Watching it back, it’s just another worldie, another great free kick. Fair play to the lad.
“We seem to be giving a few free kicks away on the edge of the box lately but let’s hope we stop that.”
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