Throughout primary and secondary school in Fife, Beth Elder, 16 was targeted by bullies.
While at Beath High School and then Queen Anne High School she was ridiculed and even physically assaulted, to the extent that the thought of going to school made her feel sick.
Now a student at Fife College, she finally feels she has put the trauma behind her and wants to help other children and young people being bullied understand it won’t last forever.
She is speaking up – although still reluctant to be photographed – and plans to visit Fife schools to create peer support networks, share coping tips and tell how she overcame bullying.
Bulling and violence in Fife schools has been brought into focus over the past few months by a series of shocking incidents.
Anti-Bullying Week November 13 to 17
It is annual Anti-Bullying Week – which sees schoolchildren raise awareness on Odd Socks Day – and Beth said it is vital that bullying is talked about more and victims are better supported.
She is now happy, studying child health and social care and planning a future in the police force.
But at school she had a very different experience.
Beth, from Dunfermline, said: “I’ve been bullied my whole life, it became the norm for me.
“Since I’ve left school I’ve realised how not normal that is and seen how much confidence I’ve gained.”
Beth’s story
For Beth, the teasing began when she was at Foulford Primary School, in Cowdenbeath, and escalated at the town’s Beath High School. It abated in S3 when she moved to Queen Anne High School, in Dunfermline. But as she still lived in the same area as her tormentors, she bumped into them when she was out and about.
She said: “I would walk into a classroom and everyone would stare and laugh at me.
“People would take pictures of me and put them up online.
“Walking home from school I would get stuff thrown at me or a girl would come up and pull my hair.
The abuse made Beth reluctant to go to school.
She said: “I would go home and not want to go back again. It made me physically sick thinking about going to school.
“The nice environment it [school] was meant to be was taken away from me.”
I wanted to wear different clothes, I didn’t want to look the same as everyone else… I wonder why people would pick on someone for that.”
Beth
Beth believes her individuality made her a target.
She said: “As I grew up I wanted to wear different clothes, I didn’t want to look the same as everyone else.
“I had my hair different, I had my lip pierced and I’ve got my eyebrow pierced now.
“I think just looking different, people pick up on it.
“Individuality is massive these days, and I wonder why people would pick on someone for that.”
Even after leaving school Beth suffered anxiety as a result of what she went through. She has only rebuilt her confidence through her work to tackle bullying and through enjoying college.
She helped Queen Anne High School develop a new anti-bullying policy by giving her perspective as former pupil.
Then she approached her MSP Shirley-Anne Somerville to offer wider support. Now the are both writing to schools across Fife.
Beth hopes her positive outcome will give hope to other victims.
She said: “I always thought this was never going to end and [bullying] would always be something for me, but now that I’ve come out of it and I’m turning a bad situation into a better one, I think that can help other people.”
Beth plans to speak to groups of bullied pupils about her experiences to help them get through it and to challenge bullying in their schools.
She said: “It will bring those pupils together so they see people in the same situation as them.
“What I’m finding is that we have all gone through the same thing – it’s in school and it’s on social media and there’s never an escape.
“Just knowing you are not alone is massive.
Headphones to drown out the taunts
“Schools now have anti-bullying policies so we will look into those, what we can learn from them and what schools are maybe not doing correctly and how we can change that.
“We’ll also talk about what I went through and coping skills.
“Listening to music is a big one [coping mechanism] and having headphones.
“I used that walking home a lot. When I would have folk chasing me and saying horrible things I would put my headphones in.”
Beth reckons bullying is a massive issue that isn’t talked about enough. Anti-Bullying Week is a great way to shine a light, she believes.
She said: “Bullying has always been a thing and I don’t think it’s ever going to fully go away but we can raise more awareness of it and help the individuals going through it.
“When you hear about bullying you think of people being laughed at a bit but the true impact is much more massive.
“Adults don’t realise how bad it can be in schools.”
Ms Somerville, formerly Scotland’s Education Secretary, urged schools to take up Beth’s offer.
She said: “I have been hugely impressed by Beth’s strength and courage and it’s inspiring how passionate she is about making a lasting difference.
“Deciding to speak out about the bullying she experienced at school can’t have been easy but she is determined to try and prevent others going through a similar ordeal.
“I think it’s clear she has a very bright future in front of her.
“I think schools across Fife would be wise to take some time to hear Beth’s story and find out how they could improve their own anti-bullying policies.
“Engaging constructively with young people can be extremely rewarding and I believe it would really help inform their decision-making processes moving forward.”
Conversation