Dundee United finance director Derek Bond could use the help of Goldfinger in balancing the books at Tannadice.
It sounds more like a job for James Bond, but even OO7 might find himself shaken, if not stirred, as the sky falls in on football income.
Investors in the Scottish game must now wonder if they’d have fared better with a throw of the dice at Casino Royale.
United admit there’s a £2 million shortfall in revenue this season and no guarantee of when fans can return.
Add to that cocktail the need to sell new season tickets – while also hoping fans will not claim credits for renewals against this season’s books – and few would blame Bond for reaching for the vodka martini.
Like others, United need their supporters to back them now more than ever amid financial uncertainty.
However, in a city where low wages and unemployment are endemic at the best of times, the middle of a pandemic, with many fans furloughed, isn’t the ideal time to rally the troops to dig deep.
Many will want to help but may be unable to given more basic calls on their money like rent and food.
Some folk are pondering what football will be like at the end of this grim time.
That’s a guessing game, but it’ll certainly take time to recover to anything like it was previously – and indeed it may never be quite the same again.
My prediction that St Johnstone would win the Betfred Cup was proven right.
This Perth side has a bright future if kept together – and one thing chairman Steve Brown needs to do immediately is get Guy Melamed’s signature on a lengthy contract.
The Israeli’s goal at Hamilton in midweek showed what a talent he is.
🔥 An incredible first touch/finish combo from Saints attacker Guy Melamed#SPFL | @StJohnstone pic.twitter.com/laBguXLzcJ
— SPFL (@spfl) March 4, 2021
Killing a laser-guided long pass on his outstep on the run and fluently finishing the move with a quick fire shot to score showed supreme skills.
Meantime, Shaun Rooney’s bulleted header to win the cup and his recent outstanding performances as a wing back marauding up the right side, as well as offering some goal threat, is the sort of form which attracts admirers.
I hope Callum Davidson can keep and build on this team, which has the potential to excite in the seasons ahead, but when players hit the heights other clubs sit up and take notice.
And what’s currently being built at Saints is increasingly noteworthy.
Dundee have beaten Hearts at Dens but also lost heavily to them at Tynecastle.
They need to take something from the final meeting this weekend in Edinburgh to keep their hopes of second place flickering.
The Dens squad has talent but they lack consistency.
They desperately need to find that now as their shortened season nears the final third.
Jason Cummings’ midweek goal, with nineteen year old Max Anderson also scoring, was heartening.
One league win in their last five outings though isn’t inspiring for Dark Blues fans.
James McPake’s side must discover a keener bite if the season isn’t to end in the disappointment of another fruitless period in the Championship.
PODCAST: St Johnstone make history and Dundee United make plea to fans
