The Hindu Kush Mountains won’t be remote enough for the big team which is knocked out of the Scottish cup by a minnow this weekend.
Dundee derbies will be back next season, and in the top league. I’m convinced of that.
The vile behaviour of Falkirk fans who threw artificial glass eyes on to the pitch to mock Dunfermline player Dean Shiels should be a bridge too far for all supporters.
The debate over video technology in football was reignited in midweek after a crystal clear Hibs goal against rivals Hearts was disallowed by referee Steven McLean.
It looks like anything but a Merry Christmas for the Bairns of Falkirk FC.
Cheats in sport are like burglars. Just as house thieves rob you of your peace of mind, sporting cheats steal your faith in the honesty of competition.
Derek McInnes dodged a bullet by staying at Aberdeen FC, and turning down an approach by Rangers for their manager’s job.
Singing in the shower doesn’t make me Gregory Porter, and painting the living room won’t turn me into Leonardo Da Vinci. Similarly, screaming abuse and criticism, at their own players, dressed up as encouragement, doesn’t turn the fans doing it into Jose Mourinho or Brendan Rogers.
Football journalism can throw up some intriguing conversations with those involved in the game.
Dundee boss Neil McCann needs his men to start converting good play into wins, or face a relegation scrap.