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MARY-JANE DUNCAN: Trying times and a long to-do list

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Today’s mood? A completely justified cranky with a touch of psycho after a ridiculously busy month.

I’ve got 99 problems and normally 96 of them are completely made-up scenarios in my head, stressing me out for absolutely no logical reason at all. Not this time though.

Two ceilings have crashed in and wrecked the place thanks to a leak. We’re currently operating with no shower and playing the daily loo lottery.

Use the upstairs loo, are you going to fall through the floor? Use the downstairs loo, will the ceiling come in on your head? I’m assured neither, but still…

Life without a shower

Not having a working shower is a very First World problem with the presence of a bath BUT I had perfected four types of showers.

The quick body wash. The hair AND body wash (consideration required for time to dry/style hair after). The rare “Yes Queen” involving exfoliation/ shaving/moisturising.

And finally, the most important and most utilised, the stare at the wall, evaluate all life decisions and pray the water washes all stress away.

Having no shower has provided an unexpected lesson revealing the secret to looking amazing.

Apparently by looking awful most of the time, it’s a more noticeable surprise for everyone when I scrub up – and if I wear the same outfit two days in a row, I can claim to be all “vintage”.

The eldest bairn is home from uni for the weekend.

Amid all housing issues and subsequent dealings with the insurance company, we’ve had number one child back from uni for a night out with her summer job colleagues.

Some relatives hoping to arrange an overdue visit, three oncology appointments, two emergency dentist appointments, one car needing an MoT, the other a service plus my third Covid vaccine and a flu jab.

Am amazed someone hasn’t arrived with a partridge in a pear tree.

Lessons in shopping…

We also decided to try to reopen the caff. Several 12-hour shifts and a trip to Ikea later.

The Mister asked what I was going to Ikea for. I gently explained that’s not how it works; Ikea will let me know when I get there.

Naturally when I did get there, the one thing I needed wasn’t in stock, but I heard some lady yelling “we don’t just buy things to buy things” at her kids and now I sort of wish I’d asked her to have a talk with me too.

Ah, the to-do list

So, to try to calm the overwhelmed nerves, I made one of my famous “to-do” lists – I just can’t figure out who is going to do it?

I’ve ordered the family 2022 calendar, written down dates/appointments/birthdays along with my lists and I still have no idea what’s going on.

I’ve accepted when I ask someone else to do something, I’m actually just telling myself what to do out loud.

I tried to rattle through some work admin, and someone emailed me straight back. I hate that. I’d just ticked that off my “to-do” list and now I have to add it back on.

Over-dramatic? Me?

The kids accused me of being over-dramatic when I threatened to quit my job to devote myself full-time to reading all the emails from their school.

I’ve just changed the wifi password. Let’s just see who’s “over dramatic” in about five minutes.

Our friends and family have been amazing. My aunt is going to take the kids for a spot over the school holidays, pals have treated us to a weekend in their caravan.

Others have offered to help the big man with some demolition, and a few invited us to use their shower.

Someone sent biscuits

A few backed off slightly after I asked if I could just come over to their house to cry for like an hour, but one absolute champ sent me biscuits in the post to help me cope with my “mensis horribilis”.

There are days I want to go back in time to find pre-child, pre-cancer me who thinks she’s so busy and so tired, to smack her.

I am under no illusion about my situation but to be limited by it isn’t an option right now either.

I’ve reached that moment where I look around at all the stuff needing done and feel so overwhelmed, I sit down and leisurely scroll through my phone like a boss instead.