I have been up a tree. Again. I shouldn’t do it really. A man in my position. And, more pertinently, of my age.
To be fair to me, I wasn’t that high up. But I worry about anything involving ladders. Last year, I tumbled off one while cutting a tall, wide shrub using a heavy electric trimmer with a long reach.
It wasn’t much of a fall, but I could easily have hurt my back, and I’ve become increasingly wary about the danger of serious injury. It happens to many folk every year in gardens, so you have to screw the nut.
The trouble is, often on a job, you get carried away. You want to finish the work. There’s a bit of branch just out of reach, but you’re determined to get it, so you stretch and stretch and … uh-oh, down you go.
Cutting ivy from a tree
The latest job that saw me tremulously ascending involved getting ivy off a tree. I’ve been wary about cutting ivy since reading somewhere that it can help anchor trees in storms. I’ve asked folk about this and they’re sceptical, so I must assume that it was just coincidence when a small tree did fall down after I’d cut off its ivy.
On this current, taller tree, the ivy had taken over. It looks strangled, and its branches now bear more ivy leaves than its own foliage. This tree has strong, wide roots, so I doubt if it needs this parasite’s skinny tendrils to afford it extra anchorage.
Ivy that’s been on a tree a long time can be difficult to remove and, as happens, I found myself becoming obsessed about getting difficult bits off and over-stretching myself, so to say.
When I finished for the day, I decided it would be a wise investment of my evening time to spend hours on Amazon looking fruitlessly for a safety harness.
Yep, as usual, Amazon, was a vexing nightmare of confusion, selling mostly harnesses without anything to connect them to the trees. Why would you offer kit like that? And the choice: way too much! Often, though, it’s the same product at different prices, under different names, and made by the same Chinese manufacturer.
The reviews and the customers’ answers to queries make you laugh out loud in frustration. True example: Question – “What is the buckle size?” Punter’s answer: “Yes.” At least that made a change from the more frequent, “I don’t know. I bought it as a birthday present for my Auntie Jean.”
May have to fashion a safety harness
In the end, I might have to fashion a safety harness out of Sellotape and drawing pins.
For all the hassles and dangers moaned about here, I should mention that I rather like being up a tree, same as in my last house I enjoyed being on the roof. I used to enjoy being on planes, too, and must conclude that there’s nothing like a bit of height for raising the spirits.
I should also mention the birdsong in my garden. It’s the talk of the steamie here. Happens everywhere I go: the reward for feeding them through the winter.
On this occasion, though, I think they might have been chirping: “Look at daft Rab up a tree again. He’ll be trying to fly next!”
