Throughout my life I have experienced bullying, even from my early years in primary school, writes former Baldragon Academy pupil Jay Hunter, 18.
It has damaged me to the point where I felt I wasn’t even human. I didn’t care whether I lived or died as long as it would stop.
I was bullied because I didn’t fit in. It was petty actions such as name calling and not letting me join in games.
But this was only the beginning of the nightmare that would become my life.
The best way to describe it was like a warzone. There was never a day where I felt safe.
I would be beaten in the halls and playground and I was called names like smelly, ugly and fat. I was even pushed off high equipment like slides and climbing bars.
Imagine being so young you’re learning how to add and subtract numbers but the only thing being subtracted is your humanity.
‘Then high school came’
I moved primary school and it was the only time I felt like a true child – happy, laughing and playing.
And then high school came around.
I thought this would be a place where I could express myself. I could not have been more wrong.
All the pain from the past came back. I was beaten in and outside of school, bullied for my appearance, my weight, my voice and my hair.
No matter what I did it was never good enough. I was outcast by everyone.
Day after day I was bullied, attacked multiple times and ultimately nothing ever changed.
I felt worthless and full of rage.
I stopped going outside for fear of seeing my peers. The world has been isolating for two years but I’ve been isolating since I was 12.
I’d spend nights awake staring at my bedroom ceiling, panicking about the day to come.
Schools do not take bullying seriously
I stopped going to school, making excuses not to attend classes.
I couldn’t take any more. I would skip meals so I would get skinny and the bullies would stop calling me fat.
This never worked and it never made them stop.
I would do everything they said in the hopes they would like me but it actually got worse.
I reported all of this and yet all that happened was a conversation with the bullies.
Nothing. Ever. Changed.
The summer after I left school I was walking on the end of the reaper’s scythe. I couldn’t deal with years of pain.
I was having night terrors and self-harming.
I couldn’t bear it and I was admitted to hospital after attempting suicide.
At 18 I couldn’t bear life while my bullies lived theirs. I am a husk of a human controlled by my trauma.
Writing this I feel sad, upset and my heart races.
I think about school – the safest places for young people – and it was the hellscape of my life.
We need change. We need schools to change and more to be done because I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone.
No one deserves to be broken or to live a life like mine.
I hope that the local authority and school can work with me on this issue to make schools a safer place to be.
Former Baldragon Academy pupil Jay Hunter was a victim of bullying and won the Lord Provost McManus Prize in Citizenship for his leadership skills and helping other pupils overcome bullying.
Jay wants to help those experiencing similar issues with bullying and has encouraged people to reach out to him or a trusted adult.
Anyone who witnesses bullying should report the incidents to a relevant authority, such as teachers, police or parents.
Scotland’s anti-bullying service RespectMe offers guidance for young people who are experiencing bullying and their parents and teachers.
If you feel like the bullying you witnessed at school or online was a hate crime, you can also report it to Police Scotland via 101.
Childline support young people with any worries they may experience, including mental health and bullying.
They can be contacted confidentially on 0800 11 11 or use their free 1-2-1 counselling service.
Read more from our bullying series
- ‘Mummy I just want to die’: Devastating words of Fife girl, 7, after years of bullying
- Bullying in schools: Our survey reveals 9 in 10 parents do not think schools can effectively tackle it
- Bullying advice: How to help children who are being bullied
- Types of bullying: What is classed as physical, sexual and prejudicial bullying?
- Devastating effects of bullying on children in the short and long term
- Autistic Angus teen terrified to go to school after pupil threatens to ‘kill him’
- How to report bullying to school and the police
